You are not Naomi Campbell, and I’m not your servant…


I’m going to start out by explaining the title of today’s post….I’m feeling pretty abused today. I won’t bore you with the details of my rough morning, but by lunchtime I was in serious need of some form of recreation, or preferably, a release of stress. After a quick fast food lunch, I decided to pay a visit to the Grindr Universe to hunt for a buddy.

What a mistake that was.

For sometime now I’ve been noticing a seriously disturbing trend in all facets of Gay Social Networking, and it seems to be accelerating in a vicious downward spiral. Rudeness and incivility are rampant. I can’t believe that I am the only one who feels this way, but perhaps I’m the only person bothered by it?

Must cruising be that brutal?

There seems to be two distinct camps of Grindr users: those who show their face in their profile, and those who do not. Let me start by saying that if you are a person who feels comfortable with putting your face pic out there for the whole world….good for you. I’m glad you’re comfortable with that, but I do hope you realize that chatting and looking for sex buddies isn’t the only way one can use Grindr. Want to know a fun way to liven up a dull moment at a party? Pull up Grindr and pass it around a group, and see who knows whom. “Oh, I know HER, he looks really butch in that pic, but I hear his ankles fly into the air the minute his back hits the mattress….”

Or consider that somebody you’ve been rude to might decide to feature your face pic in their blog:

(Know that my original plan was to post JC’s actual profile pic here, but I have a practice of obscuring faces in pictures that are coming from Grindr or any similar network. Violating that procedure now would be a petty act of revenge. I think I’ve made my point…)

I told JC that it’s better not to reply than to be rude. This guy is certainly old enough to be familiar with the saying “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”.

In the last few weeks I can’t tell you how many times somebody on Grindr has replied to a simple “Hi” or “How are you?” with demands for a Pic. It’s as if all the Face Pic people got together and collectively decided that they would drive the Headless Torsos out of the Grindr clubhouse by being so unspeakably rude to them that they would leave. I have news for you Face Bitches….I once walked into a Leather Bar in full drag, so I’m not easily chased away from anywhere I choose to be!

Ok, enough with the RANT portion of this post…

Here’s an approach that may seem rude at first glance, but I actually respect this guy for being direct and upfront:

Savvy online cruisers know that somebody who does not respond to a message is simply not interested. I actually appreciate this because it does not waste anybody’s time. It is also important for us all to recognize that a polite but brief reply does not mean it’s time to jump to a creepy propostion. I realize that to some the “no reply” approach may seem rude, but unfortunately I think that many people have converted to not replying because of how often an attempt to reply politely leads to an unwanted advance or a long, unwanted dialogue.

Finally, so that I may end this post on a positive note, let’s simply look at some tasty iCandy:

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